Greeting cards get licked by clicks

Mustn’t forget to plan for dementia tsunami

New rules for rapist troubling

Halting hazing

Afghan people abounding in hope

cooldu ladg

And another one:

cooldu ladg

bee o o u31t -mCheirn, a. I G moogrle fiosr deoiging owmith -

Calgary Herald January 21, 2010

I n tale of how two coun " -tries handle dt terrorist con -victions, ft it is worth com -ptoarUin. Sg.t hseh ojues lit btiocme bmeert" e R iocuht -a1AlapSi8rntlflmo-ea drQ

n ia Rknhar geaeEiepsl, idxd re d2g cia4t srhaod-o o wnenbundr hZtpsem ho i iasstbarfekh w rnaet daohtre C ifea niS kTc TcIA aoaoSeolfm lrdbirtyoze ouatenronier e, ldth atdso, e -iPpAsneamgncr, lk taiaeaer nmdac wewielni itatahs vir n ahye xa2lb0apnab0ldsol6es, d auvu ntesnhdisnd. pgeF so rot sriCusff tiachbeknislsyst, l -aiokndnf aopth'wrsei sa C n lnaitfin. e B iedunrit r onars n usasmndtyia aoreaw bsrsyeses, yrtlvei rfmer a -aeaRalntlelitydgeidi m lpwertea fehenodo srm tlupoiofan enbrs. tol uhoAlcewsmc, i ienuans rp sa2 if0

axwu 1 cy6lilole. ylma bres -m2se0en0rt1ec, niwacla easi tvbnt srteloin btern sicener Dvde etdoc ectmhornbeser iuofef -tjprystib3apTiwunsioe1 reavhU . isn c icarlhevrWentelok. i reiliei S iclyb s ifnevsho. ege a ege s c n nwcu ehelnsesdse til s y toeth o Rhtfuegsefteifioetn ec nesef pebuw lasd m u eArtlak s i irewlcsnas ytneyme sla i etliaplyCn tahinctlitne srn ae dhbrtme teaeno eo ihixeA cansvecabl, afpu e d . ltra c0auroHir m -slscreyde nmtia h v

cearfpai2behareatal. 0vae's ersr'nsose-a -rtmsantw2eho0unerale0byrerstdo 1je scea h ra tbopcmi oentsamtpa emtsulrtorimyr-oic runltd ateogtgelowrhlhn. r ecse sY r h sreifTr imuC iatnish mngftatmetehe s eine sdoahnl tda lcot anCwhaoewnwt'onsaests uontsn a tse tganchta hnihdheteseiseat--atmschheocaoantnvexutesdeig m hbec usyrAiuinm nPmlgtga la oritdrlfhpia eaiat igs. dimtso iehtdnehni nsert t epam. c nrlSoeocoti se v c , e oeht vuhtaohelkerdne, -rCTwMOpoCinofihanart ate , Ja cncsurdorctaisionialmatal, i lsle" Scne p de u toi nser Broeave secvrlie polruyjer. iui s c nlpsd erb edog D C cfebpf uholyesiruirf , atlAenerli ia odtmesn. t . xeog

" aAeiTdf" rsn m h ienydne -ara's group was caught unload -ie1TfoDGipscna9cxrprahkug9 eipiteyers 5dhltrna, o h cton x legki fiea2. pvao r nesT-- alelonrstoh e omjis odatmdpe ihsmiav e bleM-- te nsysit r ds tom aCo tiwteghnanouineltent R rw) ytc 1u rasg2ae C bne m aMosda1/2 deltoSmc -P ubtaiyserbnu an osescei adtnarlil hu nirnolgyesig . f t -gTatOtfinwtCitohrtior tetjsmerie

a emn , rmp sa oimwdfcnaodoaergrshi-trkep dce s etd pacu ap rrl abaiartltekol slrmie A eo tcsd. imphleahanTec ec iTeg a h rn o uD maT a . rWSst1g. nu ns o a rd eh snealznmy

iseritsonseo ht2 eo ehwTna01 nkmflr8gth0e eh o r5d w -tering in the breeze. Spanking terrorists T oMnbyfTtiftraoeoshet u lrfutsteani ele kdtocne'fijnosons ai toaemnunawh w iae fhiaitolrninry ontg fhefabiaeoatdeo rvo st o lfotntarm 8rhou etetmrtem, re e thi

udsfuorl r n fraefiese lnmrtoserehieahmr sn estsirgo . nd f i a, goufp erp re

© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald

gtamt e) , i

Below is the full text of an article from the Calgary Herald website. The link is here, although I'm sure it will be corrected eventually. So much for proofreading.

gtamt e) , i

Calgary Herald January 21, 2010

ibpe mryese owtosphsileltel -encein Vancouver. The prob -lem that Cindy Ady, the min -inesxotep ired ocefta odhu otrowis flmo, uwadc hmb amitcsko s nthoe y A ials -

bstwSohepa orpentunratelds dis n te ohb n uaetv tot ueoju tatns a o bx iuTfupyrhsa b eyn epersrnsos.,vIcfifia nsche. e T hA1e6money train seei to Whistler ca lg a ryher a ld . com / opinion T hursd ay, Ja nu a r 2y1, 2010 The Editorial pa ge C algary tml H erald F o M1u8n8ad3eldcol m Kirk P ublish

er L oEdrintoer M ino-tley c hi ef h: Li cia C oEdritboelrlial Pa ge MEdoitnor i cskiMa nZaurow g in g GEdeitorr ge Will tim g iannuzzi I f the Demodtohce ertcieaorrt nsmk. ta ' imn n ueaiedre -ktoazine cflinight -etighrneaotyir owen iM, l l as -sreodeavfis dcipgdhuueunbsnsdltcei. ac etnt s ' d c ,

ni sagpt, ed . i o, aC, ji l mbt, l rl , ej i . i ic iegcr. ilrie yrt m, am, st Ao3sfitAenbve ir a yi togtn. e drn w, t nes. ef " r thboe ieOeap, sr2t uhu. yaet

es 7dye ir hneabi l r, hneb. Den, midr ienUsu. ebt i hs8b,. ot. ue, septy, tnl i 1fit l f f tClGswImwC3a i, rtalerli. hoi akls, yept bi ts'apt ec . endt t. tl , hw, s ia a( tj pt . ! , h. . cB, l e -yi e te" mogh. idi mr ian( nroeol

© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald

ditch anthology

ditch, the poetry that matters has published an anthology of poets who have been featured on the site. You could scroll through the archives for the same material, but the anthology is much more readable, thanks to Issuu software which mimics the experience of reading a book much more effectively than websites or PDFs ever have. It's a really lovely production and I'm thrilled to be included.

annoying, but not harmful

Calgary water main woes snarl Bow Trail traffic

China plans a war on golfers as, soon as it finds them

Canadian dollar falls as debt fears weigh

Michael Buble goes to bat for Hugh Grant: Frosty woman was a plant

Fix sought for Calgary’s snow clearing

Pink is the new crack

Windfarms annoying but not harmful: report

hello mindfuck

“If the corporation had a mind at all, if it engaged in any mental reflections about its ship (which surely any ship-owner must do), then it was abundantly clear that anything Mr. Lennard thought about the ship was, from a legal point of view, not Mr. Lennard’s private thought. Regardless of what a biologist might say about the phenomenon of Mr. Lennard’s contemplating the state of the ship’s boiler, the proper legal view is clear: his thoughts were corporate thoughts, for in his head was the corporate mind.”

-quoted in Corporate Law in Canada: the Governing Principles, Bruce Welling, Butterworths 1984

comma however comma

The loss of use for the tractor is not covered under this policy,
however,
should our experts who have investigated the cause of the loss,
determine there was a manufacture defect;

your insurers will be looking to the manufacturer for reimbursement of their outlay,
should a claim be honored in this matter.

As well,
should a claim be honored and your insurers seek reimbursement to the manufacturer,
we would also forward your reasonable loss of use outlay to the manufacturer.

Should the manufacture have any issues with your loss of use expenditures,
any negotiation of such expense,
would be between you and the manufacturer and or their representative.

It should be noted,
at this time we continue to await the expert’s report,
however,
we anticipate receiving it shortly.

either/or

Headlines aren't funny/strange/sonorous anymore, or maybe I can't find the goods ones. Either way, slim pickings over the past couple of weeks:

Oprah is the Berlin Wall of popular culture

Real French women really do get fat: Study

South and North Korea clash at sea

Ill women at risk of abandonment

Fate of wolf adorning magazine cover recalled

tilt

Encana parts fail to match whole future pieces began trading

Sperm shortage forcing women to Internet for donor

Unmoral Morality

Housing activity seen reviving

Turns out that humans can infect birds too

so they say

Black bears prefer to break into minivans, study says

Forest Lawn shooting not a shooting, police say

Flu shot refusals spark warning

Is Halloween getting too sexy?

‘Dr Doom’ sees more bubble trouble

First is usually best, Canadian study says

New rocket engine could make trips to Mars realistic

Slump fears linger for Alberta consumers

Household chores apparently more foreplay than work


Snorkelling off the Galapagos

Alberta politics just got exciting

Apple smashes forecasts, stocks hit record


Britain fails to exit recession

Armed standoff ends with surrender

Sicilian prefers prison to house arrest with wife

reverb

Election jitters dog city hall

Euthanasia damages trust in doctors

Stelmach defends Stelmach

now mulling enters the fray

Are whales killing porpoises on purpose?

Cops mull probe of balloon-boy family

Edmonton mulls no-kill policy at pound

Top celebrity retirement renegers

Burning bunnies help keep Swedes warm and cozy

Moon crash disappoints

unwieldy headlines: study

Train drags German mooner half naked along platform

Sir John A. Macdonald's suspected Scottish birthplace awaits wrecking ball

End discriminatory insurance practice of forced genetic-history 
exposure: Coalition

stop the rot to

Creating Canadian space food isn't easy
Is the Pill giving geeks an unfair chance?

Strong jobs data drive loonie

Notwithstanding prostitution

Swine flu less severe than feared?

Stop the rot to our right for free speech

so predictable

Extinct lemurs found alive

Calgary woman fights for right to raise chickens

Tiger was predictable

lackluster headlines lately

Taunts preceded Edmonton soccer game attack

Oldest known human ancestor rewrites evolution theories

How to wear: Long cardigan

Can we learn to be monogamous from animals?

Canada's stalled economy 'a shocker'

Mayor will 'white hat' Dalai Lama

MPs propose an army of peace professionals

Isreal, Hamas in mutual gestures on prisoners

Nudists avoid sudden eviction

Concrete things to do when your thinking about feminism becomes too abstract

Read this article, and also read the book when it comes out. And maybe lend some money through Kiva.

Check out this blog (Girldrive), and this one (Bust).

A very good week

for headlines:

Catholic students can fly again

Photography, celebrity and mutation

Canadian punches out UK soldiers

Jaclyn Smith is not dead: Jaclyn Smith

Move over, heart-shaped potato. Here’s a Buddha-shaped pear

It’s tradition but also rape

Warming up to Iceland

Tattoos no longer taboo

Phone number detailing lobster aid package actually a sex line

Source of acrid odor in Edmonton a mystery

B.C. mother of five killed, man arrested in “domestic homicide”

Let pandas dies out, says British naturalist

Earth to space station: Dream

Scientists make paralyzed rats run again

Don’t spare the feelings of communists

This week's headlines

Ignatieff’s secret leafy glen

Facebook dumbing friendships down?

Parents to blame for fat kids

Bait cars catch thieves: Calgary police

Ice cream can control your brain: study

English school kids vote to slaughter lamb they raised from birth

And a recording of me reading headline-poems that would be pretty good if I was speaking louder/more clearly. Oops.